08 March 2009

Tantra with or without a partner?

Dear women,

At our recent Tantra Girls' Night Out evening, women asked me questions about what happens in Tantra workshops where there are both men and women present. The concern that they expressed was that, if they come without a partner, they may have to be intimate with strange men beyond what they are comfortable with. I appreciate the question and respond here.

The main modalities in my Tantra workshops are
  • breath
  • sound and
  • movement


The main types of exercises that occur in my workshops are:
  • active meditations
  • guided breath meditations
  • partner meditations using the above modalities
  • dance and movement
  • roleplay and dialogue
  • conscious touch (this will usually be specified).
Partner work

On my workshops and retreats, you will be working with different partners during one event. The women choose who they want to partner with. Partner work usually takes the form of meditations, so the process is guided and very conscious. Couples have said to me in the past that they wished they had done the work with different partners. The reason for this is that you get to know your own energy by working with different partners. If you are working with your lover only, part of your experience will be influenced by the projections and associations that you already have with this person. Exercises are structured in such a way as to bring more awareness rather than drawing you into the unconscious associations and dynamics that are often there in our relationship play.


Nakedness is usually not required in workshops, though in some workshops nakedness is an option. There are advanced workshops where nakedness is required, but you will only be invited to these when we feel you are ready.

The choice is yours

Our approach in the Advait Tantraschool is to create opportunities and then be guided by the level at which you feel comfortable to engage them. At all times, we encourage you to follow your bliss; go according to what feels good for you. Also, in Tantra the woman is always the decisionmaker, and we structure exercises as such.


My work is an encouragement to intimacy, in the sense of an opening to feel what is real for you in the moment. Tantra is about totality, it is not about hiding from your feelings. But here too you have a conscious space to learn to discern what is real, and what is fantasy or projection. If you would rather protect yourself from feeliings, then Tantra may not be for you. If you are ready to be fully present in your life, and to feel the rich complexity of that, then I would encourage you to come explore.

The next opportunity to do so is:

Tantric Love Club
12 March 7 - 11 pm

87 Berg Road Fish Hoek

"Sex is the seed.
Love is the flower.
Compassion is the fragrance." - Osho

Tantric Love Club is an opportunity for you to learn and practice Tantra, the art of sacred sexuality. Tantra works with sexual energy as the seed that can grow into love with care and awareness. This happens inside us through awareness practice, regardless of whether we have partners or not. The meditations for the evening are structured in such a way that you can come with or without a partner; it will benefit your equally. You need not have done any Tantric work before. This evening is also an opportunity to share informally with others who are exploring sexuality and awareness as one path.

Cost: R300
Bring: A plate of food to share and a pillow/ blankets to sit on
Bookings: Send your application for the next Love Club gathering to me at shakti@shakti.co.za or 0833010399.  Please feel free to write to me if you are curious but would like to know more. I will take a maximum of 12 participants so book soon to avoid disappointment.


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